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I’ll not spell out her name, just to avoid unhappy googling. But when i was writing about her in my travel diary the radio started playing “Unbelievable”, for xs sake!!!

For anyone still out of context: i met a girl, we were together for a very brief moment, but it was one of those Goreki moments.

I would come up to her with one of my ideas and P. would answer not with an argument but telling me the experience that led me to the idea — or was it with an experience that led her to believe something similar?

And slowly, softly, it became harder and harder to understand where was the frontier between P. and myself.

{Which would seem to screw my whole point that communication is impossible, but doesn’t, because we were not erasing ourselves, we were just being together. I might have to explain that better sometime…}

And when she was gone, i found out i was distracted. I’ve become very good, particularly after my sat ret cocoon, at what we could call a westerner version of the zen state of awareness to the present, this whole fling of living now and here and not on worries or fantasies or the like. But the experience with P. was so powerful that, for one or two days, i didn’t really know what was happening around me. I think even my sense of time is screwed, i don’t know how long it’s been since we parted, only now the hours are back to their normal way of passing.

{Which i might at some other moment turn into a “too much pleasure is not much of a good thing either” argument…}

The problem is, since she is sooooo much younger than me (more than 100 hours!) and lacks some of my experience, she does not seem too good at one of the most important rules of life: do not make yourself suffer!

If you have to forget me, please do. If you can’t love me right now, don’t. You are still a luminous person, one way or the other.

One of the symbols of all of this, to me, is a bottom of a scarab (or maybe it’s a firefly, but for the sake of the argument), which means eternal life. And one only gets eternal life by living in the moment, and not in a sports adventure way, but in a “i accept both the sorrow and the wonder of everything that happens, with an open heart, be it a cloudy morning in the beach or the most awesome girl i ever met being actually interested in me”-sort of way.

[Writen at the beach in La Serena, the first time i see the Pacific Ocean.]

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