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I have for some time now forwarded a campaign of sorts against the pissing contest, so let me talk about it.

The idea of pissing contest has a more direct name on Brazil: we call it simply comparing the size of dicks. And sometimes it just seems the whole wide world hasn’t anything best to do at all.

What’s your job? {read: what is the size of your paycheck?} Have you seen this new mobile? {read: what is the size of your coolness?} Do you love me? {read: what is the size of the sacrifice you’re willing to make to get into my pants?}

It is so depressing that we even do not allow ourselves to make in public the real tests, like the size of the actual anatomical organ, or the amount of damage we would do to the faces of those pain-in-the-ass people whom deserve our dislike. We cover up our own harshness in order to compare the size of our “refinement”, which is just another pissing contest.

And, in the end, everyone needs to endure the difficult test of comparing oneself to others, and learn disappointment, disappointment at yourself [myself], fear of withdrawal of our friends and loved ones, that they would refuse to love us if our penises (so to say) are not good enough, and fear of being rejected, and the pain that you will not be what they said you could, and the pain that you laboured and struggled for people that are not worth of your dreams — and you must also prove yourself, have the biggest dick some of the time, hurt others some of the time, and win, and have some memories of success, and being proud of yourself a bit — we need this ritual, this unexplainable and utterly pointless dance-around-the-bonfire, this visceral theatre, we need all this futile and childish competition, and in the end we don’t need it in order to something, it is just us, we are that stupid, and it does not make us any less beautiful.

That said, well, you can stop.

I can stop. And i chose to.

It is a valuable experience. Once, or thrice. But it is not worth your life. It is not worth your whole life proving to everybody else that you are this big man, that you have this big car, that you fuck this hott chick. (Or that you are that hott chick, you are fucking this big man, and he’s got that big car).

You just have to one day stop caring. You got to see the contest and just not sign in.

What’s more, you got to learn to silently disregard those people that are so engaged in this that they forgot to grow over it. You gotta have people you really care about that are over it too, and you gotta be conscious of it and tell them, and promise each other to point out when you fall to this kind of stupidity.

You have to grow over it as an individual. And you gotta grow over it as a group.

It is a little sad, though, that we are not really gonna grow over it as a culture so soon. But maybe someday.

But let’s understand that the pissing contest is not an isolated phenomenon, it is part of a model where everyone is trying to control everyone. Where you have to “tie up” your husband, where you have to be the only one, and generally where you put your loved one in shackles instead of being free together. This works. This world of gossip, this world where everyone spies on everyone, it works, in a Brave New World kind of way where everyone is happy but most no one is awake. But i prefer to try the freedom thing. And i guess that in order to call ourselves mature we should all try it.

Do it. But also remember it is a thing you are doing for yourself.

But let me finish with a comic:

2 Comments

  1. This may have something to do with how we are raised. My wife is a school teacher and the children that are the most competative are the ones that have been ingnored the most by thier family.

    —I found your blog from a post you put on CoddingHorror.com BTW…

  2. ah. i found this post at the perfect time. i had a conversation with a coworker tonight who just got fired. he was on his pit-pot and said “i fucked up, but i dont know how to apologize, do you have anything that compares to what i’m going through” and i saw it as a “pissing contest”, a challenge, so i started laying out all that i have endured trying to prove that my woes were greater than his. now i realize how stupid that was. i’m not better because i have endured more hardships, im simply fortunate that i have learned from them and become a better person because of them or in spite of them. we are not defined by the objects we possess, we are judged by the content of our character. anyway, thanks for posting this


One Trackback/Pingback

  1. […] is, let’s spit it out: the pissing contest is not a bad thing. In the following sense: it is a means that people have of achieving happiness. […]

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